"My Lover is My Friend"

"This is my lover, this is my friend."
Song of Solomon 5:16b

Another way to say it would be, "The one who loves me is my best friend." It's a far-fetched concept for most of us, and the same was true for the Shulamite. It took her five chapters to connect the dots, transforming a religious notion to a personal reality but she got it, and so can you!

God wears a lot of hats for his children. Sometimes his authority is very evident - just like a policeman. A healthy fear is necessary to motivate people toward righteous choices. Often people stop with this view of God and never realize He has a tender side. God is also the ultimate physician, demonstrating His tenacious desire to heal and restore life throughout Scripture. He really cares about you! God is also the coach, eagerly guiding your life with Psalm 23 shepherd love. He cheers for you on the sidelines when no one else seems to notice. But the role He prefers to play is your best friend - to be your closest confidante and ultimate companion.

Jesus said, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I call you friends, for everything that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15). God made it clear that He wants to be known as your friend. This is not the same as a master/servant relationship limiting interaction to orders given and followed. Friendship with God is a constant exchange of warmth, love and affection. Friendship with God is on a heart level, where honest feelings and thoughts are verbalized. God wants to confide in you and reminisce with you about every "remember when". God wants to hang out with you simply because he enjoys you. The blurry picture of friendship with God comes into focus when you learn to see yourself as His best friend.

You see, the satisfaction of meaningful companionship is defined by reciprocating love. Without ever talking about it, two people gradually develop confidence that they mutually enjoy each other. This fosters depth in a friendship - the rare find of intimacy. This is what you were designed for. This is what God offers you.

"Yep ... It's In There"

Yep. This is exactly what the Holy Bible says:

"How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
O love, with your delights!

Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.

I said, 'I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.'"

That's in Song of Solomon - the 22nd book of the Old Testament - chapter 7 verse 6 & 7. Check it out. Read it again, just to be sure. Yep. Sex is in the Bible because sex is important to God. In fact, the Bible qualifies sex as holy. Now that's an uncommon combination. How could holiness even come close to sex? Sounds a bit like having a special moment in the choir loft. Not exactly ... It's holy because God came up with the idea. Sex was God's design from the beginning and there's just NO one better suited to reveal its beauty. There's no one better suited to explain how it works and no one better suited to help you find ultimate satisfaction.

Just one important detail. You have to follow His instructions to get the best results. God knows that sexual intimacy is so powerful, it can easily become a destructive force in your life. He wants to see goodness flow in and out of your life so he set up some very important guidelines around sex. You don't have to follow them - most don't. But if you really want to experience the best sex ever known to man you will need to follow two very important guidelines.

#1 Sexual intercourse is reserved for marriage only. (I know it sounds old fashion, but God's standards never wear out. Married sex is, by far, the best!)

#2 Sexual intercourse is reserved for two people of the opposite sex. (I know this sounds old fashion too, but God cares a lot about reproduction and it takes a man and woman to make a baby.)

If you follow these two basic guidelines the chances of disease, death and depression will be very minimal - most likely not at all. God wants you to experience the optimal benefits of love. Consider his plan. You won't be disappointed.

Hey readers, what did you think of "Finding Intimacy in a Love-Starved World"? I'm collecting comments for a new book and I'd love to hear from you. Thanks.